1 00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:24,590 Coming! 2 00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:26,114 Keep your PENIS on! 3 00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:31,234 _ Yes? _ Yes? 4 00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:33,950 Hello! It's me! 5 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:39,160 I mean, Madame and Monsieur, 'tis moi, Hiney, the Butler! 6 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:40,992 At your servicio! 7 00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:43,230 You mean, you're a butler? 8 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:44,949 Clearly. 9 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:46,834 We don't have no butler. 10 00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:50,359 Why don't you be our butler? 11 00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:53,034 Why, thank you! 12 00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:57,038 Good morning, children. 13 00:00:57,120 --> 00:00:58,838 Shall we go to schoo-el? 14 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:03,630 All right, you little rocket scientists! 15 00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:06,553 Who can solve the problem on the board? 16 00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:11,119 Come on! Two... X... two! 17 00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:17,395 Anyone? How about you, Chicken? 18 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:21,513 Four. 19 00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:23,477 Huh? Uh, uh, one word. 20 00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:27,235 Uh, uh, starts with, uh..."F"? Huh? Uh, uh... 21 00:01:27,320 --> 00:01:29,755 Four, ma'am. 22 00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:32,311 Well, slap me sideways! 23 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:33,720 That's right, Chicken! 24 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:36,235 Hey, you're not half as stupid as you look! 25 00:01:36,320 --> 00:01:38,675 Hey, this "butler thing" aingt so bad. 26 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:40,273 Oh, Teacher? 27 00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:43,275 May I please go to the little Cow's room? 28 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:47,035 No, no, no, no, no! That is why I am here. 29 00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:57,119 You're all done, Mr. Cow! 30 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:02,833 Who would like to help me clean erasers? 31 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:03,920 Beat it! 32 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:06,156 'lay! 33 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:16,518 Nice kick, Hiney. 34 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:18,750 Just doing my job! 35 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:24,998 Cow wins! 36 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:31,033 Dinner is set-wed'.! 37 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:34,078 Oh, goodie! What are we having? 38 00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:36,757 Pork butts and cheese! 39 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:40,715 With your per-miss-ee-own, I will now cut the meat! 40 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:45,909 Divert your eyes, ladies. This won't be pretty. 41 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,435 Are you really a butler? 42 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:50,352 Yes. Why do you ask? 43 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:55,874 Oh, no! No! Do not blink by yourselves! 44 00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:57,189 Let me help you! 45 00:02:57,280 --> 00:02:58,280 Blink. 46 00:02:58,680 --> 00:02:59,680 Blink! 47 00:03:00,920 --> 00:03:03,150 Storytime, children! 48 00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:04,275 Look, Hiney. 49 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:06,397 I do not know how to break this to yous, 50 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:09,916 but kids today don't exactly go for this storytime stuff. 51 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:13,197 Oh, well, I have taken this into account 52 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:16,591 and have found an agreeable compromise. 53 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,759 He refuted those allegations, 54 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:24,912 and subsequently fled the state with his therapist in... 55 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:27,196 All right! Beat it, Walter! 56 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:34,350 I'm going to tell you a mystery. 57 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:39,832 We join Mr. Wretched on his journey through the Middle East. 58 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,799 Good morning, Mr. Wretched! 59 00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:46,352 What's so good about it, Mr. McGirl? 60 00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:49,157 Do you mind? I'm trying to eat! 61 00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:53,869 He is visited by his butler, Hives, that evening. 62 00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:55,109 Who the heck is it? 63 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:57,191 Why, it's me, Sir. Hives! 64 00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:58,395 With your teeth! 65 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:00,153 It's open! 66 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,356 Is there anything else you would like, Sir? 67 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:03,999 Put it down and beat it! 68 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:10,152 That night, Hives is startled by a scream. 69 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:13,918 Sacre-bleu! 70 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:16,196 Why? Why? 71 00:04:16,280 --> 00:04:19,238 Who perpetrated this heinous crime? 72 00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:21,596 Was it his assistant, Mr. McGirl? 73 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:25,116 The young lovers? His butler, Hives? 74 00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:26,520 Uh...? 75 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,069 Okay! Who done it? 76 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:31,113 Mr. McGirl? 77 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:32,395 No. 78 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:35,040 It was Hives, the butler who done it! 79 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:36,315 Yeah, but why? 80 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:39,438 I thought that Hives was such a nice man. 81 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:41,796 Who am I working for? 82 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:44,554 A bunch of simpletons? 83 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:49,919 Hives did it because the butler always "done it"! 84 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:53,437 Oh, I have had it up to here with you two... 85 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:54,794 dullards! 86 00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:56,554 What is a "dullard?" 87 00:04:56,640 --> 00:04:57,640 What? 88 00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:00,991 Hiney looks silly. 89 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:03,594 What's so darn funny? 90 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,159 That does it! 91 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:08,594 Bedtime! 92 00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:14,711 Boy, this is sure great having a butler! 93 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:16,709 You know what? 94 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:23,240 I would never put myself through this if you weren't so disgustingly rich. 95 00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:26,629 Oh, that's pretty funny! 96 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:29,473 Yeah. We aingt rich! 97 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:32,518 You're... not? 98 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:33,749 No! 99 00:05:33,840 --> 00:05:35,513 Mom? Dad? 100 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:37,318 Mom, Dad? 101 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:41,631 All right, come clean! 102 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:44,633 I heard the whole thing whilst eavesdropping 103 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,358 right outside that window! 104 00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:49,273 You said, "|t is hard raising livestock." 105 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:53,069 And you said, "Well, at least we're wealthy!" 106 00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:55,879 Oh, no, no, no, no! You misunderstood! 107 00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:59,430 We said "healthy." Not "wealthy." 108 00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:01,796 Healthy? 109 00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:05,350 What kind of a scam can I pull if you guys are... 110 00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:08,676 II Well, you shouldn't pull a scam at all! 111 00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:09,760 It's wrong. 112 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:11,393 And what's more, it's illegal. 113 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:12,480 Really? Oh, yes. 114 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,394 Really. 115 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:17,151 Well, well, well, well, well! 116 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:19,994 Then I guess I'd just better be moving on. 117 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:21,080 See ya. 118 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:26,755 Door-to-door Butler. May I be of service? 119 00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:30,075 I've just got to be me! 120 00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:31,389 In the end. 121 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:36,320 Ninety-nine, one-hundred. 122 00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:38,038 You know, a lot of people ask me, 123 00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:40,760 "Cow? How do you keep your muzzle so soft and supple?" 124 00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:44,310 Well, first I slather mayonnaise all over myself every night 125 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:46,152 so I will be soft and kind of pinkish. 126 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,277 And it makes my pinhairs stand out. 127 00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:52,069 And pickle slices are a must for my beauty sleep. 128 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:57,669 You don't need pants for the victory dance, 129 00:06:57,760 --> 00:07:00,400 'cause Baboon's better than Weasel. 130 00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:03,279 LR. Baboon big star of cartoon. 131 00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,119 I. M. Weasel. 132 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:12,359 LR. Baboon reigns king in his mind, 133 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,829 he's just a Baboon with a wiggle behind. 134 00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:17,958 But round every comer he's likely to find... 135 00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:22,717 I. M. Weasel! 136 00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:59,198 LR. Running'.! 137 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:03,673 Dragon! Dragon! 138 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:06,156 Baboon? 139 00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:17,595 Please closing fishy lips. |.R. hiding from dragon. 140 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,640 Heavens, that's not a real dragon! 141 00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:24,631 This is the United States. 142 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:27,872 Real dragons only live in Sumatra and Brunei. 143 00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:30,556 You mean we not in China? 144 00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:34,875 Certainly not. This is Chinatown. 145 00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:39,910 Chinatown is like China, only punier. 146 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:41,115 Come on, old man. 147 00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:43,040 I'll take you to a little fast food restaurant 148 00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:46,670 where we can get the best lard encrusted poultry cubes in town. 149 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,034 Excuse me, Dumpling. 150 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:50,714 Isn't that furry guy |.M. Weasel? 151 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:54,235 It's |.M. Weasel! 152 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:56,072 Weasel! 153 00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:56,752 It's him! 154 00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:59,195 It's America's favorite small mammal! 155 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:00,280 It's Weasel! 156 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:01,469 Hey, Weasel! 157 00:09:01,560 --> 00:09:03,631 We love you! 158 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:07,154 I loves you, Weasel! 159 00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:08,719 I love your show! 160 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:11,189 Sign my autograph for me! 161 00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:13,000 Can I have an autograph? Oh, you smell good! 162 00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:14,394 You should be President! 163 00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:15,754 Sign this to my Mommy! 164 00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:17,513 Sign my back! 165 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:21,037 Sign my face! My kids love your show! 166 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:28,555 |.R. wishing someone would asking |.R. for autograph. 167 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:32,719 Confucius say, 168 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:35,838 "Wishing is like poking your friend in his eye." 169 00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:38,639 It's a lot easier if you have a good luck charm. 170 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:43,070 Confusion saying what? 171 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:44,833 Here. You buy this. 172 00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:47,833 This is a lucky plastic monkey paw key chain. 173 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:52,278 It'll magically grant your wishes, as well as hold your keys. 174 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:56,313 Twenty dollars, please. 175 00:09:57,400 --> 00:10:00,199 There you go, Sir. Have a nice day. 176 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:05,429 What ya doing, chum? 177 00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:08,831 |.R. going to buy magic monkey paw. 178 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:11,675 Oh, you don't want that old thing. 179 00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:15,151 Besides, you've already got two grubby monkey paws 180 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:17,311 at the ends of your own wrists! 181 00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:23,039 I can wishing on own paws? 182 00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:24,669 Preposterous. 183 00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:28,549 |.R. wishing for autograph to sign! 184 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:37,191 Baboon! Sign my cast! Sign my cast! 185 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:42,273 Thank you! 186 00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:46,272 LR. Wishing coming hue'.! 187 00:10:46,560 --> 00:10:47,834 Coincidence. 188 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:49,752 LR. Wishing (or... 189 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:55,396 a gazillion dollars! 190 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:02,270 Now you really would be sorry if that wish came true. 191 00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:05,637 A gazillion dollars is enough money to bury the planet. 192 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:10,271 Good grandma! 193 00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:24,110 LR. Rich! LR. Filthy rich! 194 00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:27,557 LR. Big spender! 195 00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:31,559 A real million dollar bill! 196 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:34,393 You really do have magic paws! 197 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:37,840 You must take back that last wish! 198 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:39,911 You just jealous. 199 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:44,551 |.R. wishing to be taller... and handsome more. 200 00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:56,398 No! Now |.R. too handsome! 201 00:11:56,480 --> 00:12:00,360 |.R. wishing |.R. back to normal self. 202 00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:02,795 Only with smaller butt. 203 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:11,676 Now LR. Hungry. 204 00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:14,274 But |.R. all out of wishes. 205 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:16,670 You have another hand, you ninny. 206 00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:19,639 Now, wish for something useful, like world peace. 207 00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:21,393 Or a cure for stupidity. 208 00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:26,793 No! |.R. wishing for coyote and cheese sandwich. 209 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:28,871 You wished for what? 210 00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:34,512 Oh, it not cooked. 211 00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:46,396 What |.R. wishing for most of all? 212 00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:50,797 LR. Knowing! 213 00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:55,033 |.R. wishing to be king of world! 214 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:56,838 No! 215 00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:06,070 LR. King'.! 216 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,436 Please, |.R.! Stop wishing! 217 00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:10,193 You'll destroy everything! 218 00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:12,476 Shutting pie hole, peasant. 219 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:14,917 I wish you'd shut up! 220 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,074 Look what you've done. 221 00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:31,516 I wish I'd never picked you for my sidekick. 222 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:40,510 Well, |.R., old sidekick. 223 00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:43,194 I wonder what crazy adventures we'll have tonight? 224 00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:51,356 Yep. It's just you and me, paper sack. 225 00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:56,636 Oh, man. I wish this oaf loon were over.