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Ladies, are you man
enough for figure skating?
2
00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:18,670
Well, Dan's World of Diapers
First Annual Skating Championship
3
00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:23,038
invites you to compete in a World
Class Figure Skating Competition!
4
00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:24,633
If you've got the guts!
5
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Why, it has been my life's dream
to be a figure skatin' champion!
6
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Come, let me show
you my dark secret!
7
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Earl?
8
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This is my calling!
9
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Underneath my gruff feathered
exterior lies a head focused
10
00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:45,993
on the beauty and
grace of figure skatin'!
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Earl?
12
00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:51,236
We can win that World
Class Competition!
13
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Yeah!
14
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Skate like the
wind, Big Brother!
15
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Oh, look at those two.
16
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How are we gonna
beat them, Flem?
17
00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:10,396
They've got talent and
skill and all I've got is Flem!
18
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The Chicken is good, but the
real genius must be that Earl guy.
19
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Just look at those teeth!
20
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With him out of the way, I
just might have a chance.
21
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Boy, that was great!
22
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Yeah! We're a cinch to win.
23
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Yeah.
24
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Someone lose a skate?
25
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Here VOu go!
26
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Can't win without this!
27
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Hey, thanks, Buddy.
28
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Allow me to introduce myself.
29
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My name is MaryLou Hiney.
30
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And this is my
gentleman's smoking pipe.
31
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Galvanized steel, of course.
32
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Why? Why? Why?
33
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Why what?
34
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Quick! Call an
ambulance! Earl's down!
35
00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:07,756
Hurry! Over there!
36
00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:12,195
Man, this one's in bad
shape. Look at that face!
37
00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:14,711
Hey! It's Earl who's hurt!
38
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Sorry.
39
00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:17,840
Why?
40
00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:22,595
Why?
41
00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:25,593
Okay, let's take a look y
at the x-rays of Earl's leg.
42
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Jumpin' grandma on a stick!
43
00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:29,231
This is terrible!
44
00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:31,516
Cuba is nowhere
near where it should be!
45
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And the Dominican Republic
should not be part of Puerto Rico!
46
00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:39,354
What are we gonna
do, Chicken? Why?
47
00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:42,751
The skating competition's
tomorrow. Why?
48
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Don't worry, Earl.
We'll find a way to win!
49
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How?
50
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:47,838
Ladies and Germans,
51
00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:52,551
Dan's World of Diapers welcomes you
to the big Figure Skating Championship!
52
00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:57,714
Introducing the elegant team
of Chicken and his partner, Earl!
53
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Along with his doctor,
nurse and his |.V.!
54
00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:02,715
Yay, Big Brother!
55
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Hi! I'm Earl!
56
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:24,079
We're doomed!
57
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,151
My poor figure skating brother!
58
00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:30,711
His dreams have been
dashed like so many pies!
59
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:34,794
Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Now
we've got a chance!
60
00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:38,874
Ever since I was nine,
this is all I ever wanted!
61
00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:45,680
Oh, mommy and daddy said I didn't
have the figure to be a figure skater!
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00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:50,709
Well, okay mommy
and daddy! Just watch!
63
00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:56,273
And now, Marylou Hiney and Flem!
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Man! These guys rock!
65
00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:18,031
Oh, I wish there was something
I could do to help my Big Brother!
66
00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:19,155
I know!
67
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Nine-point-nine's
for Hiney and Flem!
68
00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:31,670
I'll bet it'll take a
ten to beat that!
69
00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:35,318
Sorry I ruined your
dream, Chicken.
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00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,391
That's okay, Earl.
71
00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:41,235
I guess some dreams
are made to be broken!
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00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:44,870
Looks like Chicken will lose
to Hiney and Flem by default.
73
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,993
Not so fast announcer boy!
74
00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:50,269
COW?
75
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:53,913
Replacing Earl... Cow!
76
00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:56,355
May I skate with
you, Big Brother?
77
00:04:56,440 --> 00:05:00,354
Oh, Cow, I said a lot of mean
things to yas, like bein' fat and all.
78
00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:03,512
But you're really
a big fat life saver!
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00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:04,600
Come on!
80
00:05:31,520 --> 00:05:34,319
Do you believe in miracles?
81
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:38,359
A perfect ten! Cow
and Chicken win!
82
00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:41,432
Hey! I deserve to win!
83
00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:44,831
If I hadn't clobbered
that idiot Earl with a pipe,
84
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Cow wouldn't have skated!
85
00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:51,115
I feel so cheated!
86
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What is wrong with you people?
87
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I don't want your food!
88
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Oh, Cow, we won!
89
00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:07,876
They're beautiful!
90
00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:13,038
Here, Earl. These
are for you, too.
91
00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:16,078
Hey! Group hug!
92
00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:18,669
Wait a minute!
93
00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:23,470
Flem, Hiney? Get over here.
94
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Whom?
95
00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:26,234
Us?
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00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:33,152
This is the happiest
day of my life!
97
00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:40,910
You know, people
are always asking me,
98
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"Hey, Red? How come
you are so fetching?"
99
00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:45,236
What can I say?
100
00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:47,709
I'm slim-hipped and all muscle!
101
00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:51,270
And having an outtie belly
button don't hurt, neither.
102
00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:53,678
End of Beauty Tip!
103
00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:58,269
You don't need pant
for the victory dance,
104
00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:00,829
'cause Baboon's
better than Weasel.
105
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,799
LR. Baboon's a big star cartoon.
106
00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:05,873
I. M. Weasel!
107
00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:12,914
LR. Baboon reigns
king of his mine,
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00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:15,560
he's just a baboon
with a wiggle behind.
109
00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:18,712
But round every comer
he's likely to find...
110
00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:23,357
I. M. Weasel!
111
00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:43,950
|.R.'s ruined Weasel!
Driving |.R. crazy again!
112
00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:47,951
Oh, do go on,
Mr. Monkey. This is riveting!
113
00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:51,078
Oh, |.R. not sleeping at night.
114
00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:54,039
Weasel keeping |.R. awake.
115
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Such a racket he
is keeping at night!
116
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He's so thoughtless!
117
00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:04,920
Oh, I'm terribly
sorry, Mr. Baboon.
118
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I think I left my
curling iron on.
119
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I'll be right back.
120
00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:12,314
Oh, I am terribly
sorry, Mr. Ferret.
121
00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:14,835
But I had to drop my
pants... off at the cleaners.
122
00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:16,035
You were saying?
123
00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:17,918
Baboon is so selfish.
124
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:20,514
I donate my free time
to Habitats for Carl's.
125
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:21,237
And let me tell you,
126
00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:24,392
there are a lot of Carl's out there
desperately in need of a habitat.
127
00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:27,438
We have plenty of room in our
apartment, so I'm building one.
128
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For me?
129
00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:30,914
Yes, Carl.
130
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Oh, thank you!
131
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Were you talking to me?
132
00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:40,791
And another thing, that stupid
baboon is always breaking my eggs.
133
00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:45,154
Do go on, Mr. Orangutan.
134
00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:48,198
Weasel keep buying
defective eggs.
135
00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:53,832
It always secret dream of
|.R. to being chicken farmer.
136
00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:57,231
Be for me, tiny baby chick...
137
00:08:57,320 --> 00:08:59,470
oh, the tiny chick?
138
00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:03,590
Weasel dash
farmer dream of |.R.,
139
00:09:03,680 --> 00:09:07,594
cause he only
buying liquid chickies!
140
00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:14,071
You know, I left my pants
in the dryer... too long.
141
00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:15,355
I'll be right back.
142
00:09:15,560 --> 00:09:18,473
So, I had to go and
get some more eggs.
143
00:09:18,560 --> 00:09:21,473
I was planning to cook
my special souffle that night.
144
00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:24,074
But, I can't stand
leaving the apartment
145
00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:27,949
because I don't have any faith in Baboon
taking down my messages correctly.
146
00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:28,836
Is that so?
147
00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:32,356
Say, do you ever
dream in... German?
148
00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:33,191
What?
149
00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:34,315
You see, doctor,
150
00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:38,075
I'm afraid that my friends and
colleagues think the monkey's an idiot.
151
00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:42,439
All Weasel friends
treat |.R. like idiot.
152
00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:43,396
Hello?
153
00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:45,278
This is Admiral Bullets!
154
00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:50,309
Tell Weasel we need him in Washington
to handle an emergency on Air Force One!
155
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:52,354
Any messages?
156
00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:54,878
Admiral Bullets called.
157
00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:57,998
He say Weasel need
to wash hair forcefully.
158
00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:01,519
I wonder if this is
forceful enough?
159
00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:04,469
Hello?
160
00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:06,278
This is Admiral Bullets!
161
00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:08,829
Where is that weasel?
162
00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:12,994
He not coming to phone.
He being in shower.
163
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:15,833
Weasel telling me to telling you
he not care about your condition.
164
00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:21,194
Weasel telling me to telling you
he not care about your condition.
165
00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:22,280
Bye-bye.
166
00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:25,000
Oh, I am so interested!
167
00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:26,080
I'll be right back.
168
00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:29,154
I was trying to
prepare for a blind date.
169
00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:30,958
I was cleaning the apartment.
170
00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:32,360
What the...?
171
00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:34,438
Weasel.
172
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:37,430
Hey! What do you
think you're doing?
173
00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:39,113
If girl are 'blind date, '
174
00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:41,953
she not care what
apartment looking like.
175
00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:51,750
You cute little thing!
176
00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:56,277
Let's just take a look at
you; all furry and handsome!
177
00:10:57,600 --> 00:11:00,956
Hey'. LR. Baboon.
178
00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:03,549
Pleased to meeting me.
179
00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:10,234
You're kinda cute for a simian.
180
00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:14,393
And you're cute.
And such manly fleas!
181
00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:17,040
She obviously liked me more.
182
00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:22,950
She obliviously
liking |.R. more.
183
00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:24,309
That's my date!
184
00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:31,993
Weasel totally overreacting!
185
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:36,153
I acted with complete
and utter restraint.
186
00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:39,989
Stop it!
187
00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:42,390
You both need professional help!
188
00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:45,757
I recommend Dr. Sigmund Fraud.
189
00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:50,437
"Specializing in cohabitational disorders
pertaining to Weasels and Baboons."
190
00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:51,590
She dropped this card.
191
00:11:51,680 --> 00:11:54,354
It's so specific, I
had to come see you.
192
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:58,430
You know, I forgot to play
fetch with my dog this morning.
193
00:11:58,520 --> 00:11:59,635
I'll be right back.
194
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:01,836
Now, where were we?
195
00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:03,354
We're all out of time!
196
00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:06,159
And we were so close
to a breakthrough!
197
00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:07,355
See you next week.
198
00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:09,670
Please pay the receptionist.
199
00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:14,879
We were so close
to a breakthrough!
200
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:16,519
See you next week.
201
00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:21,189
What are you doing here?
202
00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:24,716
Why is Weasel
being here, too, also?
203
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:26,440
Yes?
204
00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:28,636
Hey! You're my blind date!
205
00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:30,759
She can see!
206
00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:33,116
I can't believe I'm so stupid!
207
00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:36,875
It's the oldest psychiatrist
scam in the book!
208
00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:39,270
And I thought we had something!
209
00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:40,709
Hey?
210
00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:42,871
This is a phony diploma!
211
00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:47,511
You crossed out the "OTIC" in
"Psychotic" and wrote in "IATRIST!
212
00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:52,553
You meaning pantless
doctor are not psychiatrist!
213
00:12:52,680 --> 00:12:54,478
I'm afraid not, old friend.
214
00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:56,153
He's just pant-less.
215
00:12:56,240 --> 00:13:00,074
Well, it says I'm a
"Fraud" right in my name.
216
00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:04,393
I may be a fraud, but so is
my dad, Sigmund Fraud, Sr.
217
00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:06,357
In fact, we're all frauds!
218
00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:09,990
My whole family!
219
00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:15,240
There, there.
220
00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:16,993
Maybe we can help.
221
00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:22,270
Well, it all stalled
when I was about ny-in.
222
00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:23,270
I was just a boy.
223
00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:27,718
I didn't know pants
were required at school.
224
00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:29,598
Who would have guessed?
225
00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:30,590
You know, pal?
226
00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:34,992
He may be insane and a fraud,
but he still needs our compassion.
227
00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:38,835
And then Grand-ma-ma
wouldn't let me play on the swings.
228
00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:42,800
And those twins made
me wear that dress!
229
00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:47,317
I could be wrong about
that 'compassion' pan.
230
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:50,392
Taffeta! On top
of the prom dress!
231
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:54,635
Do you know what
that sounds like!