Cock-a-doodle-doo!
Chicken? Hurry up for breakfast
or you and your large sister will be late for school!
Oh, please.
Ups-a-daisy, son. Into the high chair.
How humiliatin'.
What? Thank, Cow!
You ate all the Honey Toasted Weenie Balls!
Sorry.
Come on, kids! Hurry!
Milk, please?
Come on, son. Hustle!
Uh-oh, Chicken! Look what you just ate!
Sugar Frosted Coffee Flakes!
Caffeine enriched!
So?
The ingredients are coffee, coffee bean husks,
re-constituted coffee grounds, adrenaline,
recycled caffeine and freeze-dried coffee filters,
with extra coffee flavor.
And it says here
that you will not be able to sleep for three days!
Sleep? Who needs sleep? I don't need no sleep!
Hey! What is the prize?
Prize? Well, let's see!
Oh, Super Dad Sized Underwear!
Manly, yes, but I like it, too.
Two points! Two points! Two points!
Chicken shoots! Chicken leaps! Chicken blocks! Foul!
Yeah, come on! You want a piece of me?
Do|!
You're toast, Chicken!
Bring it on, chump!
Hot doggies, ride 'em cowboy!
All right, I'm goin'.
Time to sleep!
Come on, sleep!
Come on. Come on, sleep!
Caffeine doesn't not bother me. No.
Day Two.
All right, class!
This is called "pie", as in shut your pie hole.
Recess!
Time for recess, Pie Hole.
Get off my case!
Oh, my poor caffeine influenced jittery brother.
Excuse me, young man.
Do you have the time?
No, do you have teeth?
Yes.
Can't sleep.
Chicken's gonna sleep now.
How's that? I said time for bed, pumpkin.
Close!
Success!
COW!
Please, you gotta help me get to sleep!
I can't take it no more!
I know!
Oh, I've got just the thing.
"How To Get To Sleep.
If You Have Had Too Much Caffeine Flakes."
How scientific.
What are you gonna do with them bricks?
Sleepy?
Not yet.
Duct tape for Chicken.
Oh, that will keep your eyes closed.
Day Three.
Try rocking patient to sleep.
Oh, goodie!
Sleepy, sleepy, sleepy big brother princess!
The book says try counting sheep.
All right. One sheep, two sheeps, three sheeps, four sheeps,
one Columbian guy and his burro,
a second Columbian guy and his burro,
a third Columbian guy and his burro
carrying bags of mountain grown coffee beans,
the richest kind, the fullest flavor, filled with freshness,
care for a cup, Chicken?
No thank, I'm tr yin' to cut down!
Oh, no!
Chicken, come back!
We got another one of them caffeine flake serial victims runnin' loose.
Better hide the women and children.
Hey, that's mine!
That chicken's insane!
Come on from the hundred story skyscraper, son!
You might get hurt!
Oh, no! Heavens to Betsy!
Wait! Here is the cure!
Drink warm milk!
Oh, I've got plenty of that.
Top of the world, Mom!
Super Cow, a la rescuettie!
Hey, kids! Time to rise and shine!
Don't want to be late for school!
Well, Chicken, today you're eleven. You're a man!
It's time you started off your day like a man,
just like momma,
with a big bowl of Sugar Frosted Coffee Flakes!
End! End! Ride 'em doggies!
Top of the world!
Would you look at that, Momma?
Told you he was a man today.
I would like this soon to be over now, please.
Don't swim out to far, kids.
It could be dangerous.
Chicken! Come back!
What's the matter, son?
Be a girl like your sister!
Get out there and swim!
You don't need pants for the victory dance,
'cause Baboon's better than Weasel.
I.R. Baboon's a big star of cartoon.
I. M. Weasel!
I.R. Baboon reigns king in his mind,
he's just baboon with a wiggle behind.
But round every comer he's likely to find...
I. M. Weasel!
I was a young man when it all began.
I was filming a nature documentary in the jungles of Saskatchewan, Canada.
My field of expertise: Endangered Species.
I was to immortalize these fading creatures on film,
to catalogue them for future generations.
This quest was not without danger.
For I was on the trail of the very last Baboon is Traileris Mobilis Stupidis.
Once this land was teaming with Trailer Baboons.
The Mobilis Stupidis is know for it's odd migratory habits,
always nesting it's trailer in inhospitable habitats.
Sniffing his finger.
Scientists believe it to be some sort of "Mommy Fixation".
In no way did I wish to disturb the lifestyle of this beautiful
and majestic creature.
But I needed to know where he was going and why.
It would be my job... no, duty,
for I. M. Weasel!
Fore!
I followed the imbecile primate to the Happy Hole Driving Range.
Clearly, there had to be a more serene environment for this baboon to exist in.
This poor idiot creature.
No wonder they're going the way of the Dodo.
I'll save you!
I next found the endangered dimwit at the Happy Hole Military Firing Range.
I needed to get closer to observe
what was going through his mindless mind.
Again, he misses his Mommy.
The Trailer Baboon has a sixth sense regarding his trailer.
A mess cleaned, PBS on the television, a toilet flushed.
Any of these things will alert him
that something has violated the sanctity of his trailer.
Click.
Ching, cha-ching, cha-ching.
Again, the baboon migrated.
But why?
From the tornado swept plains of Kansas...
to the cheese swamps of Madison, Wisconsin.
I attempted to follow the baboon without directly confronting him.
But when he migrated into human territory,
I was forced to confront him man-to-man.
Excuse me, Sir?
Would you mind telling me why you keep moving your home?
Because you always following LR.
LR. Trying to get away from pesky Weasel!
I am deeply sorry, Mr. Baboon.
I had no idea that I was the cause of your horrible migration habits.
I promised the baboon that
if he would live in his natural environment,
I would stop following him forever more.
That was the last time I observed the elusive wild baboon.
The world lost yet another link in it's...
quilt of diversity.
Goodbye, baboon.
Glee!
And that's how I ended up in Folsom Prison.
Yes, I got multiple life sentences
for allowing a baboon to ride his trailer over the falls.
But now that I know my story will reach the world through your paper,
I can face my fate with pride and certainty.
What?
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I feel asleep!
And it all started seventeen years ago.
Back to the hole, Weasel!
Baboon killer!
My... wife... was a baboon.
Solitary is too good for the likes of you!
They give you solitary, too?
Cow?
Pumpkin, did you have one of them Weasel dreams again?
Yes.
Well, hop in between Dad and me!
Looks like we all had a Weasel dream.
Hope you don't milk the bed, pumpkin!
Would someone please do me a favor?
Go to my house and wake me up.
No, don't iris out yet.
I'm serious. Wake me up.
Please?