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Mama had a Chickie.
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Mama had a Cow.
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Dad wad proud,
he didn't care how.
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COW!
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Chicken!
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Cow and Chicken!
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Everybody just shut your
pork traps for a minute!
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Just take a look at the
championships our school has won.
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Basketball?
10
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Three Championships.
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And how many Plastic
Surgery Championships?
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00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:57,751
And for that reason, we
brought in an advisor to help.
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A Plastic Surgery Coach.
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Hello, little teeny tiny Mary.
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I'm your new Plastic
Surgery Coach!
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Plastic surgery
isn't just a sport.
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It's a way of life!
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I'll help you...
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ladies bring home the State
Championship to your school,
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or my name isn't C.D. High Knee!
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Doctor Plastic Surgery Surgeon!
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Oh, I want to be on the team!
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I like your spirit!
You're hired!
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Oh, by the way,
who did your waddle?
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Plastic Surgery Practice!
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Cow?
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You get to be Chicken's assistant,
and big-boned cheerleader.
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Goodie!
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Cheering! Cheering!
Cheering Surgery Princess!
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Volunteer? You'll do!
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Turn this, into this!
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I am ready.
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- Power sander.
- Power sander.
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- Weed-wacker!
- Weed-wacker!
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- Old pig pan!
- Old pig pan!
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- Nine iron.
- Nine iron.
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You made a crab, Big Brother!
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Oh, nice Pebble Crab.
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Except I asked for
a Blue Point Crab!
40
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Surgery like that will not win
us no championship, chief.
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Which one of you Weenies is
our next victim, slash, volunteer?
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Hey! Yo, wait just a minute.
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Let's see what ya got, Chicken?
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Surprise me.
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Ball-peen hammer!
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Cold chisel!
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Two, four, six, nine!
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Who do we think is
fine? Chicken! Yay!
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Faster! Faster!
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Success!
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Hey, Hem'? Fetching!
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Well, meatballs, I think
we're ready for our first game.
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Good afternoon,
ladies and Germans,
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and welcome to today's Grade
School Plastic Surgery Contest,
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scheduled for ten rounds!
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Both Captains
await the first test!
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A banana slug!
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Looks like Chicken's Team's off
to a fast start with a garden tool!
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00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:14,154
While the other team is holding
their own with a cheese grater!
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Nip and Tuck, Saw and Curl,
my brother, Chicken, is not a girl!
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Hold on to your shorts,
ladies and gerbils!
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And there's the buzzer!
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A perfect banana slug
for Chicken's Team!
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Now, the other team! Oh, my.
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That's just not gonna
do. Chicken's Team wins!
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I couldn't have done this
without you, Dr. High Knee.
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Oh, please. Call
me Dr. High Knee.
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This just in.
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The Chicken Team
is going to the finals!
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You know, I never thought
you ladies would make it this far.
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So I'm so proud!
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Blah-blah-blah, sob-sob-sob.
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The other team is tough!
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But, so are we.
75
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However, I'm worried about
the Beaver Competition.
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Our Beaver... Their Beaver.
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As you can see, creating
Beavers are our weakness.
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Welcome again
Plastic Surgery fans,
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to the State Championship of
Grade School Plastic Surgery!
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The underdog,
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Chicken's Team, up against
the over-dog, the other team,
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the returning Champs.
83
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Hey! That's not fair!
84
00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:26,319
Those guys are
still in grade school?
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Yes.
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You see, they excel
at Plastic Surgery,
87
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but they stink at math.
88
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The Ref holds up a Sperm Whale.
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And... they're off!
90
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This is what separates
the men from the girl-men.
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Perfect Sperm Whale heads!
92
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It's a tie!
93
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Looks like there's going
to be a sudden death...
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tie breaker!
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Jumpin' grandma on
a stick! The Beaver!
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Oh, no!
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We're doomed! We're doomed!
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Not the Beaver!
99
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You gotta help
me, Dr. High Knee.
100
00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:05,032
Please! Call me Dr. High Knee.
101
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Hey! Oh, let go!
102
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Oh, that tickles! Handcuffs?
103
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Okay, High Knee.
104
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Show me your Plastic
Surgery License.
105
00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:18,472
Hey. It says here you're a...
106
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Plastic Pipe Salesman
from Bend, Oregon!
107
00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:30,635
He wasn't even a New Mexican.
108
00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:34,554
Oh, Chicken, it is time for the
Sudden Death Photo-Realistic Beaver!
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00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:36,153
I can't do it, Cow!
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Doctor High Knee lied to us!
111
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I can't perform no surgery!
112
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Pull yourself
together, Big Brother.
113
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It was you who
did those surgeries,
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not The Red Guy with no pants.
115
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You're right, Cow! Come on!
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Chicken? We... we are all
out of volunteers for surgery.
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Don't worry, Flem.
I'll do it... on me!
118
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You lose, Chicken. You
are nothing but a loser.
119
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It's Sudden Death Beaver Time!
120
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Mash beaker.
121
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Clamp. Blender.
122
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Butter.
123
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I said butter, not udder.
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Sorry.
125
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What kind of doctor are you?
126
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You forgot to fill the
chain saw with gas!
127
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And time has run out.
128
00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:29,751
Let's see how the
teams did, shall we?
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First the Champs!
130
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Oh, that's not gonna cut it.
131
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Now the Chicken Team.
132
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It's a perfect
photo-realistic Beaver!
133
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Chicken Team wins!
134
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What an upset!
135
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Hooray, Big Brother!
136
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And now, ladies,
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it's time for the Cow and
Photo-Realistic Beaver Show!
138
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Mom! Dad! Photo-Realistic
Beaver is teasing me again!
139
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Photo-Realistic Beaver?
140
00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:02,199
Have you been teasing
your sister again?