1 00:00:01,320 --> 00:00:02,435 Mama had a Chickie. 2 00:00:02,520 --> 00:00:03,635 Mama had a Cow. 3 00:00:03,720 --> 00:00:06,189 Dad wad proud, he didn't care how. 4 00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:12,240 COW! 5 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:16,989 Chicken! 6 00:00:20,240 --> 00:00:21,878 Cow and Chicken! 7 00:00:43,160 --> 00:00:44,798 Guess who? 8 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:45,916 COW! 9 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:47,832 Oh, how'd you guess? 10 00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:51,231 Cannot you see I tr yin' to watch TV? 11 00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:55,996 Ladies! Canada's Funniest Home Vidiots! 12 00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:58,351 I love this show! 13 00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:02,110 Hello, it's me, Lance Sackless! 14 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:05,478 Here's tonight's semi-finalist video! 15 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:09,630 Come on, Jorge. Hit it over to the park, aye? 16 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:13,874 Remember, gals! 17 00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:16,600 If you've got a video of yourself doing something 18 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:19,672 completely and totally stupid, 19 00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:23,116 send it in to Canada's Funniest Home Vidiots. 20 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:28,434 You could have a shot at the ten thousand dollar grand prize! 21 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:32,953 Gee, Chicken! We do stupid stuff all the time! 22 00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:37,078 Okay, Cow. Just like we practiced. 23 00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:42,796 All this work is giving me dry horns. 24 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:46,032 Oh, I had better use some of this Preparation Itch. 25 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:48,191 No, no, Cow! The other one! 26 00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:50,229 Sorry. 27 00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:53,080 Oh, poo! 28 00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:56,829 I have accidentally pour glue on my head. 29 00:01:56,920 --> 00:01:58,638 Hey, Cow! Look! 30 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:00,798 I am hangin' right above yous! 31 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:05,556 I sure hope that I do not fall and get stuck to the top of your head! 32 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:09,189 We are stuck to each other's heads! 33 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:12,591 Boy! This sure is stupid! 34 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:18,429 To Lance Sackless. 35 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:20,671 That tape is gonna make us rich. 36 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:23,229 Okay, Cow, now get me off your head. 37 00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:25,311 Okay, Big Brother. 38 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:32,394 Cow, you are killin' me here! 39 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:35,595 Terribly sorry, Big Brother. 40 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:44,999 Nice hat, Cow. 41 00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:48,239 Next time, I get to be on the bottom. 42 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:52,870 Twelve right. Thirty-seven left. Eighteen right. 43 00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:55,431 You okay, Big Brother? 44 00:02:56,920 --> 00:03:00,675 Come on, Cow! I gotta walk the dog. 45 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:01,760 Bad! 46 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:03,558 Absolutely not, Big Brother! 47 00:03:03,640 --> 00:03:05,074 That is the little boy's room. 48 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:08,471 And little girls like I do not go into the little boy's room. 49 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:11,154 Nevermind. Bend down, quick! 50 00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:12,719 Oh-kee dokey! 51 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:21,669 Cow! I need a dime! 52 00:03:34,640 --> 00:03:37,996 I hope Lance Sackless picks our tape. 53 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:40,720 I am keeping my udders crossed! 54 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:42,438 That's gonna help. 55 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:49,631 Congratulations, ladies! 56 00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:52,473 You two idiots, sticking your heads together, 57 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:54,198 made the semi-finals! 58 00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:57,352 You're goin' to Canada! 59 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:05,910 Okay, you idiot lovers! Lance Sackless here. 60 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:11,029 Let's look at our three totally stupid semi-finalists, shall we? 61 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:15,398 First, this large family slipping on a banana slide 62 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:17,790 and landing in a file cabinet! 63 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:20,440 File them under "L" for losers! 64 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:26,559 Oh, Dad, these Canadians are hilarious! 65 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:28,950 Does hilarious mean large? 66 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:34,594 Yurp. Check out this stupidity, ladies! 67 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:36,830 The Queen Mum oi Yum! 68 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:40,193 Choking on a fish bone! 69 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:44,874 And last but not least, a Chicken and his fat sister, Cow. 70 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:48,873 We are stuck to each other's heads! 71 00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:53,194 So! What'|| it be, girlies? 72 00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:57,319 Will it be the big Butt Family in a file cabinet? 73 00:04:57,560 --> 00:04:59,073 'My! Aye! 74 00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:01,197 Queen Mum choking on a carp? 75 00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:03,157 'My! Aye! 76 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:07,757 Or... Cow and Chicken glued to each other's heads? 77 00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:10,275 'My! Aye! 78 00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:13,273 Canadians like our kids! 79 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:15,636 Hey! Just like us! 80 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:18,670 Oh, and the winner is... 81 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:21,479 Oh! Cow and Chicken! 82 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:24,472 Goodie! 83 00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:25,675 All right! 84 00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:31,037 I mean, how incredibly stupid is this Chicken, folks? 85 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:34,556 Gluing himself to a fat Cow? 86 00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:35,640 Hey! 87 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:38,790 I mean, look at her! 88 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,393 She's huge and tubby! 89 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:42,118 You'd have to be a drooling pinhead 90 00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:45,431 to miss this humongous continental mass! 91 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:48,080 Stop making fun of my Big Brother! 92 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:51,669 You don't like Chicken jokes, do you? 93 00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:05,959 Somebody's gonna need that ten grand! 94 00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:07,792 For therapy! 95 00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:11,560 Super Cow! 96 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:13,159 Would you look at that, Dad? 97 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:16,517 Super Cow has Chicken stuck to her head, too! 98 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:19,558 Man, momma! What are the odds? 99 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:33,197 Super Cow! 100 00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:38,398 Stupid Canadian money. 101 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:42,599 Ten grand in Canadian is only five cents American! 102 00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:46,639 Not even enough to cover my comb transplant operation! 103 00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:48,119 Geez! 104 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:51,033 Live from Uganda, Africa's Hollywood, 105 00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:54,670 it's Uganda's Hilarious Duct Tape Accidents! 106 00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:55,960 Cow? 107 00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:01,672 Hey, Chicken? I got it on tape!