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Mama had a Chickie.
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Mama had a Cow.
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Dad was proud,
he didn't care how.
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COW!
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Chicken!
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Cow and Chicken!
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"Startling discovery!"
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"Paper is made from
trees, by Timmy!"
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Well, steam my shorts!
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Stories like this is why nobody's
readin' our school newspaper anymore.
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Timmy, the tree
boy, you're fired!
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And we're bringing
in an advisor.
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The distinguished TV
journalist, Jeraldo Rearviewa!
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Hello! I'm the journalist!
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We're going to turn this boring rag
into an exciting television news show.
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And you?
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I like the cut of your waddle.
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You get to be the cameraman.
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Does anyone else want
to work on our news show?
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I do, Mr. Rearviewa.
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Of course you do!
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You can have puff Timmy's
Editor job, and pick all the stories!
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Did you know that the FDA found
more than the acceptable level of rat
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in your school sandwiches?
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Hey, that ain't true!
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It is now!
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I didn't do it! It
wasn't my rat!
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The Lunch Lady
was arrested today
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after this reporter learned
there was rats in our sandwiches.
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Oh, I know you're upset, Cow.
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But look! Our ratings are in.
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The whole town is watching!
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They are?
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So, what's the next story?
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I want a nice story
about our gym teacher.
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Hey, who gives a
rolling donut about...
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You know he wears
little frilly girlie socks?
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That ain't true.
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Now it is.
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Shower time, girls! Lather up!
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Careful now!
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Don't be afraid of
the soap, Johnson!
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I don't want any
girlie men on my team!
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I want man men!
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Hey! We're gonna be
cancelin' periods one thru five
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so you students can watch the
most popular news show in the world.
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You know him as the guy
who makes you do laps.
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But when nobody's lookin',
he wears little girlie socks.
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There is the girlie socks!
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Get him! Get him!
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What are we doin'
here at Flem and Earl's?
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Did you know it's illegal for little
boys to have little girl middle names?
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Just check out their
birth certificates!
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Earl Beatrice and Flem Jennifer.
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See?
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Hey! Flem and
Earl are my friends!
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They're your friends?
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Well, that's tough!
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Get to work!
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It is a lie! I don't
got a middle name!
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I don't even got a last
name! I'm just Flem!
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Flem!
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Chicken!
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Our show is number
one in the world!
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But I don't have
any friends no more.
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Everyone's afraid I'll do
a mean story about them!
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Oh, looks like I'm
your only friend.
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Hi, big brother!
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Except for her.
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Oh, Cow?
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Our next story is on the little Cow Editor
of the most popular show in the world!
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Goodie! A happy story!
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Oh, man!
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Oh, goodnight, Crabs
The Warthog Doll.
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Goodnight, Piles
The Beaver Doll.
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Oh, goodnight Manure The Bear.
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Wait till she's asleep and
then put her hoof in warm water.
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Everybody knows that
makes you milk the bed.
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And once you tape it,
we are talking Pulitzer!
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Oh, I don't know why
my stories turn out mean.
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It can't be Chicken's fault.
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He's doing the best he can.
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It's all my fault!
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Mine!
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I can't do this!
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Do what, big brother?
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Another mean story.
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I didn't want to make
Coach and the Lunch Lady
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and Flem and Earl look bad.
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It was him!
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Oh, I knew that pantsless
journalist was a bad man!
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Oh, whatever are we going to do?
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I got an idea!
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What is taking him so long?
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Hey, Rearviewa!
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I am having camera problems!
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Well... fiX it!
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I cannot! There is a ladder.
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Come up here and help me!
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"| can't fix it!
I can't fix it!"
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All right, what's the problem?
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Mama!
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There's a pantsless
man in the room!
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HEY. Easy man!
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Nan mderhosen...
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No!
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And then the pantsless
Red Guy was chased
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until he was captured
by the Folsom Police!
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Hello! It's me, The Warden!
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This looks like the beginning
of a beautiful friendship!